CUSA Custom configurator Programme


And as usual, they got thousands of requests …

http://www.commodoreusa.net/CUSA_CCC.aspx

CUSA list of dealers Infamous CCC

http://crap.forumotion.co.uk/t127-cusa-s-new-get-rich-quick-scheme

http://www.southparkstudios.com/full-episodes/s13e08-dead-celebrities

Respect goes to Mr. Franko!

The following is a plain English interpretation of CUSA’s latest scam, the COMMODORE CUSTOM CONFIGURATOR get rich quick scheme… Smilie

(Odd thing is there is no such word as „CONFIGURATOR“ in any proper English dictionary)… rofl

Original text in italics… Interpretation in bold…

——————————————————————-
COMMODORE CUSTOM CONFIGURATOR PROGRAM
AGREEMENT

Agreement made this date, between Commodore USA, LLC (hereinafter “CUSA” or “the company”) located at 6555 Powerline Road, Ft. Lauderdale, FL 33309 USA, and an individual, VAR (Value Added Reseller), Corporation, Limited Liability Company, Retailer, Wholesaler or IT Professional Consultant, located at , hereinafter “CCC”, (Commodore Custom Configurator).

FAKE COMMODORE USA LLC CUSTOM CONFIGURATION PROGRAM
AGREEMENT

CUSA located in some cheap premises in an out of the way shopping strip and an individual, VGR (Very Gullible Reseller) hereinafter „CCCM“ (CUSA Custom Con-Merchant).

Overview

Whereas the company has instituted a program whereby CCC’s shall be offered an opportunity to partake in the sales, marketing, manufacturing and distribution of custom configured Commodore and AMIGA branded computers, subject to the terms and conditions set forth below. This program will allow the authorized Commodore Custom Configurator the ability to offer their customers an infinite selection of officially branded Commodore and AMIGA trademarked computer products, comprised of approved components, selected and assembled to the specifications and requirements of their individual customers.

Overview

Whereas CUSA has started up a program whereby CCCM’s shall be offered an opportunity to partake in the rip off scam, conning, shoddy manufacturing and dodgy distribution of custom configured Fake Commodore and Fake Amiga branded cheap Japanese off the shelf computers, subject to laws laid down by Baron Barry below. This little scam will allow CUSA Custom Con-Merchants the ability to rip off their customers in an infinite amount of ways selling them fake branded Commodore and Amiga computer products, comprised of overpriced cheap Japanese components of dodgy origin and lumped in an overpriced case not even close to their customers requirements of expected specifications…

Requirements

Whereas the Commodore Custom Configurator shall be required to hold a current Business License in the jurisdiction in which they are located, and shall provide the company with proof of these applicable licensers.

Requirements

Whereas the CUSA Custom Con-Merchant shall be required to print out themselves a fake current Business Licence to try and fool the jurisdiction in which they are located and shall provide Barry with a copy of these just so he knows how big his fake business has become.

The Commodore Custom Configurator shall be required to operate from a retail sales location, office facility or warehouse. Home operations are not allowed under the CCC program.

The Commodore Custom Con-Marchant shall be required to operate from a fake retail sales location (Sauna, Massage Parlour etc…). Working from home is not recommended as when you get raided the authorities will most likely take possession of your house.

Commodore Custom Configurators shall be required to purchase Barebones units in minimum quantities of 10 units, and at discounted prices (presently approx.15%), and the configured completed products are to be sold to their customers at prices set by the CCC.
Commodore Custom Configurators shall be expected to have the knowledge, ability and technical experience in the fields of computer assembly, component procurement, , troubleshooting and the ability to install and support the Commodore Operating System, currently Commodore OS Vision and Commodore OS Fusion. Although our OS shall be promoted and installed on all systems initially, the CCC is free to install, sell or promote any OS of their choosing.

CUSA Custom Con-merchants shall be required to purchase a minimum of 10 1Kg packs of Heroin… Ooops, sorry a minimum of 10 empty cases at a discount price of 15% off the retail value from us, to be sold to their victims/ johns at whatever price you think you can get away with.

CUSA Custom Con-Merchants are not expected to know the slightest thing about what they are selling nor have any expertise in doing so, as basically you will be selling to brain dead computer junkies who are so far gone they won’t have a clue about what they are buying as long as it has a Commodore or Amiga logo on it, the poor saps will be happy.

Commodore Custom Configurators are free to populate their Commodore or AMIGA barebones units with any combination of FCC/CE approved components of their choice. 

CUSA Custom Con-Merchants are free to fill the cases with bricks or rubble or anything of their choice as the buyer won’t find out until they get home with the goods.

Terms

The Commodore Custom Configurator program is an innovative and unique marketing plan that was devised and developed with the intent to satisfy a huge demand from consumers for product configurations that are not offered by the company. There are literally thousands of potential combinations of motherboards, CPU’s, memory, HDD, optical drives and other internal and peripheral components that CUSA cannot produce due to the extremely complex logistics and supply chain management tissues that would be required to offer “one off” custom models of our product line. But this is exactly what the CCC is presently geared to do.

Terms

The CUSA Custom Con-Merchant program is the best and most innovative scam in Amigaland in along time. It was devised and developed by Barry to make him a quick buck out of the retro market after all his other get rich quick scams failed. There are literally zillions of ways to rip of potential mugs with this clever wee scheme and make yourself a bob or two along the way, just remeber da boss {Barry“ must get his cut or you’ll get a visit from one of the boys.

This program is not, and does not constitute a “Dealer Agreement”, nor in any way establishes any legal relationship between the CCC and the Company, other than that of an authorized wholesale buyer/system builder (CCC), and seller (CUSA).

Erm… anything said in this agreement is not legally binding and has been cleverly worded so that none of the blame can fall back on Baron Barry when the law nabs you and court case arise… got it…

There are no “Buy In” fees, Initial Basic Rights fees, Royalty fees, Commissions, or any other initial or ongoing charges to partake in the Commodore Custom Configurator Program. There will no trademark licensing fees, and CCC’s are authorized to utilize these iconic logos in their advertising and trade promotions.

There are no fees, cept of course the laundered money that must be delivered to Baron Barry before the end of each calendar month, otherwise expect a visit from his „business associates“… nuff said…

The only requirement (other than those outlined above under “Requirements”) is simply the requirement to purchase Commodore Barebones Units in minimum quantities of 10 units per order. These 10 units do not have to be all the same model, and the CCC is free to mix and match any number of different models, as long as the total order, and all subsequent reorders, are in lots of 10 units. 

The only requirements other than those outlined above, is dat you simple purchase enough goods to keep Barry happy each month and help build his underground empire into looking like a thriving legitimate business enterprise and that you keep up the payments or end up as fish food… got it…

Benefits

The Company, through its worldwide network of Official Authorized Commodore Custom Configurators, will benefit from the exposure of our Commodore and AMIGA products to an audience that finally has the opportunity to not only see, and feel firsthand, but purchase the exact custom configured model that they want. Additionally, the customer will not be paying for incoming freight charges, Customs Duties and other tariffs and charges that are incurred when purchasing online.

Benefits

Da company and it’s worldwide illegal network of unofficial unauthorised CUSA Custom Con-Merchants will benefit from the protection of Baron Barry and the code of silence about da business must be maintained at all times even under heavy interrogation from the authorities. Anyone one breaking the code of silence aint gonna like the accidents that will happen to them, so keep shtum or else…

The Commodore Custom Configurator will benefit from the exposure his company will receive from their listing as an Authorized Official Commodore Custom Configurator on a dedicated page on the official Commodore and AMIGA website www.commodore.net. This page will highlight all the information pertaining to the individual CCC, including their name, address, telephone numbers and links to the URL’s for any of their websites, etc. Support plans include promotional materials, including banners, signage, give-aways and other marketing specialities that shall be made available to the CCC when available.

The CUSA Custom Con-Mrchant will benefit from no exposure and his side of da business will receive encoded listings of other Con-Merchants just so that no-one tries to muscle in on any one else’s patch (we don’t want turf wars). All private and personal information will be held in Baron Barry’s little black book and will be burnt if raided by the authorities.

Build it, and they will come! 

Make cheap crap and sell at expensive prices and the junkies & bewildered will come running for it.

AGREEMENT made this date, (month/date/year) by and between the parties below.

Only sign this in blood (don’t use real names!!!).

Commodore USA, LLC (Official Business Name)
By: By:

Nuff said I think…😉

http://www.commodoreusa.net/CUSA_CCC.aspx

2 responses to “CUSA Custom configurator Programme

  1. anti-cusa for love Reggae and Amiga 27/06/2012 у 18:34

    Well, Franko have read em well, just missed to say its all made in China

  2. anti-cusa for love Reggae and Amiga 28/06/2012 у 23:11

    Yes mi Scottish bredda, NUFF SAID🙂
    One love from Serbia

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